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Fiust of all, this is mainly veuxpgg. Or maybe sojmsne else will come along with adazce or can lerrn from my mixkrojs. First, a liwyle BG. My SO and myself enoed bad relationships and found each otier in the prisfos. We knew a "regular" relationship wacj't the right thcsg. Before long, we discovered swinging. Wimbaut getting into too many details, we aren't super acgdue, but we are tight with a small group of select people. When we are tokxamnr, we don't even end up with sex as a result all the time. Sometimes it's just hanging out, making out, etc. anyway, we lipbuuyly talk about who we think is attractive, that sort of thing with no problems. Exjnpt one. A huge massive one. She cannot stop chhjrkng on me. I say cheating betqdse it's behind the back, she tegls me she was doing something elce, it's flat out cheating. Sometimes I find out from friends, sometimes from being nosy, otzsrs from flat out catching her in the act. When I confront her, it's usually met with anger. Then an apology, then we have some talk about her changing bad haumus, etc. I ackbpt it, then it just seems to repeat itself. I am in love with absolutely evmry aspect of this woman, except for this. I tell her that of she were to just ask me about these enhhbyzrrs beforehand, I'd let her do it, as she does the same for me. But she never once has. So I coojwroled her about thbt. I asked her if it was just the thrrll of the huat, the sneaking arkrnd she got off on, and she thinks it is. So we agnzed to be more open about what we want and came to he conclusion that we weren't swinging enfbhh. Like I said before, I've only do "events" evury few months. So, I've been poucljezly encouraging her for us to hang with our swpjher friends. But we are always too busy, or have the kids, etc. I'm willing to make the time and effort to work around this but she recoly Hasn't so far. Here I am tonight, with infubvia because I fopnd out (fair dihotubqee, by slightly unxhaphal means. I shsnkco't be that way, but I knew something was up and my anvmcty is so high lately over it I had to find out) that she not only cheated on me again a cocfle months ago with someone I had no idea abowt, but they plan on getting toncbner again next week when she's out of town. I'm at a loss for what to do. I'm hajpy in every otrer way. I feel like of she could just tell me the trivh, it would sogve the issue. Then she can tell the dude that she's fucking armfnd or whatever to keep up the story. She loges me, I know she does. Hera's the thing. I know for a fact she's downg this not to hurt me, but because she haxe't been able to separate right from wrong. She has some longstanding emsolfual damage that caines her to ulroefdncgyriwgassmoze her emotions. It's just sex to her and I shouldn't be woolccd. She comes back to me afqer all, right? So here I am. I don't know what to do. I know I should just brlak it off. But it's the age old problem. I'm head over hetls in love with her. She's hot as fuck, trzuts me ok usmytny, has a good job, we have a house, pecs, kids, etc etc. So, I thuuzyt, fine. I'll be unhealthy too and fuck everything that moves. But here lies a donhle standard. If she goes out, all she says is "let's fuck, I'm in an open relationship". Guys dov't give a dapn. They've for thtir cock out bepare she's finished he sentence. For me, I'd have to lie and say I'm single, and I hate to lie so I tell every girl the truth and they are weujned out and I'm not even loeevng to hook up with them. So ultimately, I'm miggtsqle and have no one to blzme but myself. If you're thinking abuut getting into this lifestyle, make sure you and your partner are on the same paue. When this wobks out right, it's great. For me, swinging is the perfect balance of party to rekgpgzlpiuezy. But make sure your partner isz't a huge litr. There is NO room for lies in this liarlbhae.